The opening scene shows Ray, played by Tom Cruise, hard at work. He’s a crane operator on the waterfront of New York. When he gets off work that morning, his foreman begs him to stay. Ray refuses, saying he’s just coming off a 12-hour shift. The foreman yells to him across the street, “You know what your problem is?” and Ray responds, “I can think of a couple of women that'd be happy to tell you.” It becomes apparent through the movie that his problem is that he’s supremely selfish, only thinking of himself. How many times have we heard that about divorced Dads, that they’re solely interested in themselves, and that they only spend time with their children as a means to reduce child support. They’re selfish jerks, kind of like Ray.

When he arrives home, his exwife, her husband, and Ray’s two children –14 year old son Robbie (played by Justin Chatwin) and 8 year-old daughter Rachel (played by Dakota Fanning) – are waiting for him. He’s late. When they all go into Tim’s house, it’s a disaster. There’s a car engine in the living room, a pinball machine pokes out from a closet into the hallway, and when the exwife peers into the refrigerator, she finds no food. Nothing to feed the kids, who have to sleep together in one small bedroom. The parents exchange quips where he says he doesn’t hear complaints from them, and she replies that she does, then she leaves for Boston. His son Robbie acts sullen. When Ray’s daughter, Rachel, asks what there is to eat, he tells her to order take-out. He cajoles Robbie into a game of catch, which soon turns into an exchange of unpleasantries and "I can throw harder than you can." Ray says that Robbie needs to finish his homework so he doesn't flunk out of school, and Robbie says "Why do you care, Tim pays for it!" (another stereotype – the father doesn’t pay for anything). Ray ends up calling his son a, well, let's say a member of the male anatomy, then hurls the ball through a window. Robbie says how much he hates coming to his Dad’s house. It’s obvious that there is little love or affection between Ray and Robbie.

Ray says he’s tired and goes to bed.

Later that day, Robbie gets up and helps himself to some of the food that Rachel ordered. He nearly spits it out, and when she tells him it’s from the natural food market, he replies that he meant for her to order REAL food (so, as usual, the female is ecologically aware and nutritionally educated, not the father. Seems like a lot of commercials I’ve seen).

After some of the “excitement” begins – the special effects are spectacular, by the way – Ray takes the kids to their Mom’s house, hoping to drop them off. No-one is there. He tries to fix them all sandwiches, and in the middle of making some PBJs, there’s this exchange which once again shows what an inept father he is:
Rachel: “I’m allergic to peanuts.”
Ray: “You’re allergic to peanuts? Since when?”
Rachel: “Birth.”

Later on, when Ray’s trying to get Rachel to sleep, she asks him to sing him her favorite bedtime song. He has to admit that he doesn’t know it. She asks for another song. He has to admit that he doesn’t know that one either. The only song he can come up with to sing to her is “Little Deuce Coup” by the Beach Boys.

This is the kind of portrayal that goes on throughout the movie. At one point Robbie, the brother, is called upon to act as the father, calming Rachel down using a type of relaxation therapy, and reveals to Ray that she’s claustrophobic (and reveals to the audience that Ray doesn’t even know this salient fact about his daugher). The critics say that this movie shows a divorced Dad who lacks many parenting skills, but would do anything for his kids. What it showed me was the stereotypical deadbeat dad who doesn’t know his kids at all, spends very little time with them, doesn't spend money on them, is more interested in himself than in them, is a complete slob at home, doesn’t know how to cook even the basics or keep anything edible in the pantry, resorts to name calling with his kids, and has no clue as to how to parent them. In fact, he acts more like a bachelor uncle who’s unexpectedly called upon to baby-sit. Isn't that how deadbeat dads are thought of, and isn't that about the extent of the rights they're given in our society? It’s only when things get tough that he’s able to rise to the occasion, fighting to keep his kids alive and his family together. The Mom, on the other hand, is shown as being selfless, sensible, aware, and maternal - the stereotypical divorced Mom.

I can’t help but wonder, did Spielberg use the stereotype because he doesn’t know any better, or is he pandering to one gender in our society? How hard would it have been to show a hardworking dad who loves his kids, knows his kids food allergies and bedtime songs, has a great relationship with them, and yes, would be willing to do anything to keep them out of harm’s way? Oh, but then that wouldn't have been as good a story, would it. Okay, let's show the mom to be selfish, inept, and unaware. But we can't do that, can we. Only men, and divorced dads in particular, are allowed to look bad. The movie would have meant much more to me, a divorced Dad, if it had shown a great dad, and maybe had shown the mom to be a bit more realistic – angry, bitter, and resentful. That, after all, is what the research says about divorced moms.

Instead, we’re left with yet another movie that shows divorced dads to be inept parents, who through a series of traumatic events are able to reach inside themselves to bring out their better character. It’s true that by the end of the movie you see a dad who is willing to do anything for his kids – but that’s the kind of divorced dad that I see all around me, every single day. Perhaps some day Hollywood will make THAT movie. Reviewed by Jim Evans